Unfinished Bono

The wife and I have been trying to do more things together lately. We decided to pick up various activities that we can participate in together, and we wanted do it together at the same time. The other day she wanted for us to draw, and I am not a big fan of drawing. I really have no reason for not liking to draw, other then I am rather impatient at times. Drawing takes a lot of patience.

I used to do the whole art thing back in the day in high school. It wasn't that I thought that I was bad at drawing, but I never felt I was great.

I used to watch this guy named Bob- something or another- on PBS. This guy could paint like no other. He would always paint the background, then he would keep adding details on top of the background. As I watched him I always felt nervous. He would always get to a point in the painting where I felt it was amazing as was. As a matter of fact, if that was me that was painting, I would want to stop at that very point. I would be done and finished at the point where the painting looks like something that resembles anything good. But this Bob guy would just keep going.

He would always surprise me when he kept going. I always wanted him to stop when it was "good enough" to pass as decent art. But he never would. He would just keep adding layers of detail over and over again.

This kind of stuff makes me nervous probably because of my little experience with art. In high school I would always be doing projects, and I would get to a point in the project where it would look half way decent and I would stop there. I would do this because I didn't want to screw it up. I had no vision for a finished piece. But I was satisfied with just a decent looking piece. If it could pass for something, it was complete for me.

This is probably why I have art around the house that looks decent but unfinished. I am afraid to finish them. I think if I tried, I would mess them up.

Well as I was saying, the other night, I sat down on my bed looking for inspiration to draw something. I was going to draw a house, but couldn't muster up much vision for that. I looked at my beloved ipod and the inspiration hit me. I was going to draw Bono, the lead singer for U2.

I spent about 45 minuted sketching Bono's head and a part of his hand. I thought it was beginning to look like something decent.

And you guessed it, I stopped. I was afraid to add the finished details. The picture is sitting in my living room waiting to be finished in some respects. But it is decent enough for me.

I have been reading a book titled "My Beautiful Idol" by an author named Pete Gall. I will actually review the book here shortly, which by the way is an excellent book so far. In the book, he has a great metaphor of our Christian journey that I thought was wonderful.

Gall compares our Christian journey to that of a race track. He imagines there is a group of people hanging around the starting line of a race track camping out, reading the newspaper, and drinking coffee.

Then someone may notice the track, and the direction of the arrows, and the increasing distance markers. This person may follow these marks for a little bit, and may be even to the 100 yard line. This person may feel good about there accomplishment and start to camp out at this point, drink coffee, read the newspaper, and hang out. He may even try to yell back at the 50 yard people, the 30 yard people, and the starting line people. He may encourage them to camp out with him at the 100 yard line, rather then the yard lines previous to him.

Gall explains in his book that the 100 yard people are the people who have salvation. They have reached an accomplishment for sure, they would be a 100 yards into the track. However, the track is not meant for camping out, it is meant to be ran. Gall explained that he wants to be that guy that stops camping and starts running. I think there is something to this.

Sometimes I feel tempted to tell myself that I am "saved" and that I am not yet completed, but it looks decent enough. So I don't want to screw it up. I am the one that has made it to the 100 yard line, and I am camping out. I am kind of like my Bono drawing. It looks decent enough to look like art, but it is unfinished. I am an unfinished Bono.

I still have every opportunity to finish my Bono picture. But I probably will not do it. It probably will stay unfinished. I will find a corner or shelf to put it on, and every once in a while I will pick it up and admire whats been done. But I also will be reminded on how its unfinished. I will also be reminded of my fear for potential. What it could be, doesn't drives me not to act. I'm afraid of messing it up. Fear is the story of the unfinished Bono.


I may look like decent art, but I am unfinished. I don't want to camp out at the 100 yard line any more. I want to run the track as it was designed. My fear is getting in the way. Although unfinished, I have become satisfied with my salvation. I may not be finished, but my fear for messing it all up with God and man stands in the way.

This all reminds me of a passage in Philippians 2:

"Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose. " -niv

What exactly does it mean to work out your salvation with fear and trembling? Is this talking to an unfinished Bono, like me? Why does the church seem satisfied with the 100 yard line, when there is a race track to run on?

I somehow want to muster enough strength and courage to no longer be satisfied with just salvation. I feel its time to embrace the design of the track. My only questions is how do i do that?

-dj

http://audaciousliturgy.blogspot.com/