For those that know me well, they are aware of my ever changing life, especially within the last year. At this time last year, I was going through hell and back, and my immediate future was very much in question. I felt this to be a great time of reflection, because of the difference a year can make.
I will never forget that first day of college. I walked into the gymnasium to pick my classes. I was signed up to be a business Major. I remember looking at the class offering thinking to myself, "you got to be kidding..." macroeconomics, marketing? Ugh, this was not my idea of a good time. I made the decision at that moment to change my major to bible. I wanted to become a youth minister. This what I felt God was leading me to. I was not going to turn back.
Long story short, this isn't exactly what I expected. I had a short stint as a youth minister, met some great friends, but this did not work out to favorably in the end. I am now working a Nationwide Financial, as a Variable life sales and service rep, and I am actually enjoying it. (How ironic the way life takes you sometimes!) I have had thoughts on getting back into "professional" ministry, however I have decided ministry is what I make of it. I used to tell our kids in the youth group that ministry is not meant for a select few, all of us need to be a minister in our context. This is my opportunity to do just that at Nationwide!
I just recently got my series 6 licensing and it appears that this is immediate future. I want to allow God to use me in anyway, in this context. Just a few goals I have set for myself...
1) Love at all costs! As the Rob Bell bumper sticker says "love wins". I want to love with no condition, and I hope those around me can experience the Love in me!
2) Don't be preachy! I am very passionate about many things and my beliefs, people do not to need to hear me on my soap boxes! They need to see light and not and darkness
3) Humility. Jesus came to save me too!
4) Serve at great costs to me. This should be obvious, but not to say it is not difficult.
5) Be involved! I used to feel that I should distance myself from "the world". I am not going to do this, I want to be available and to build relationships at my profession. I also should not hold my self an more "privileged" then those around me, which leads me too my last point...
6) Learn from those around me! I feel that sometimes God will over flow the structures (church buildings and followers) to work outside of those structures. I have lots to learn about God from those around me ( followers or not) and I look forward to what God has in store.
What is my position in ministry? I think it is to join in God's work in my context and to allow God's teachable moments to change me.
-dj
http://audaciousliturgy.blogspot.com/
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Jake Reminding Me to Smile
It was my duty this weekend to watch my son Jake, while the wife went to hang with the ladies! Unfortunately he has been pretty grumpy, and I am not positive why. This picture of him just reminds me to smile and to remember that sometimes smiles do not come easy, but we should always capture them in our memories.
-dj
http://audaciousliturgy.blogspot.com/
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Feeling Like a Rock Star
If I was living in a fantasy world I would so be a rock star. I absolutely love music and good musicianship. There is hardly nothing better then when a musician comes up with a piece, that for some unexplained reason, sends chills down your back. And to be a creator of such a piece, to experience that journey would be such a great feeling. If you ask anyone I know, music is very much a passion of mine. The wife and I actually just did an inventory of all the Cd's that I have purchased over the years and I must admit that my collection has become an expensive investment. With my love an passion for music, I could just imagine I would be a rock star only in this fantasy world. I would be performing the music pieces that I have created, and I would be sharing it with the rest of the world. However there is a reason why this can only happen in this fantasy world. There are several problems in the way that separates me from just being a music lover and a Rock star, such as the fact that I can't play an instrument or can't sing, just to name a few. But I want to share an experience in which I had a glimpse of, if only a small one, of what it feels like to be a rock star.
In college I had a room mate that I would consider to be a musical genius. His name is Ryan Brown. He had the ear and the gift to put together a string of chords, and as he put words to this, something special happened. He truly has a gift of musicianship like no other that I have met. Ryan also had the gift of singing, so the total package is impressive! I was inspired by Ryan and his gift. I was so inspired, that I decided to run after my fantasy occupation and I purchase a $400 Ibanez artcore guitar. She was a beauty! I decided that I wanted to learn how to master my new toy so I can chase my Rock star dream. I would watch Ryan and I tried to pick up pointers. On occasion, he would verbally explain things to me, but more times then not, I would just watch. Many times I would even ask questions and Ryan almost found it hard to teach me. I think it was because he was so good at this, he just did it, and he didn't know how to explain it to a peon like me. After some time, I would no longer fell that the best way to learn from his gift was by asking questions, so I continued just to watch. I would get brave enough sometimes and I would pick my guitar up and play in random sequences the four chords that I had learned. I found myself embarrassed to play my chords in front of Ryan. Honestly, I would avoid even picking up my guitar in his presence. I am not for sure why I was embarrassed. But I kind of guessed that it was that he was so good, and I was certainly not. Looking back I can say that after time, my inability to play well enough to not feel embarrassed in front of Ryan, put a damper in my dream of becoming a rock star. And actually I still have the guitar, and I still know those 4 chords, I can truthfully say that I have no progressed much since my collage days. But this does not sum up my rock star dream experiences! I believe there is more to tell...
In college, I took a road trip. Ryan's girlfriend at the time (Cara) wanted to go see her brother at Virginia Beach during spring break. I was and still am really good friends with Cara and I had never been to Virginia beach so I was defiantly up for a road trip. Putting our faith into my '94 dodge spirit to actually make it to Virgina Beach, which it did, we drove to her brother's (Todd) house. This was the first time I had ever met Todd. Cara kept telling me that he was cool and that I would like him. I did like him. He has a 'cool" spirit about him. He is an artist of many trades. He was really fun to be around with that week. He is a musician as well, and he wrote his own songs. I will never forget what happened.
You see, even though I am great friends with Ryan, I was never given the opportunity to play with Ryan, probably due to the fact I absolutely had no confidence in my playing ability. But my experience with Todd had a different tune. He got out he guitar and just started playing. He then gave me another guitar, and told me to strum a chord in a specific pattern, then repeat that pattern to 3 more chords. I remember being nervous. Sure I knew how to play the chords, but I also knew that I had always struggled with any sort of rhythm. I also had never have played with any one else. I begin to do what he told me, before long my rhythm was decent enough that he began to sing a song with my guitar strumming laying the back drop for his vocals. This was AWESOME! I had never felt so alive musically. In that moment I was living to the full. I was so proud of that moment. At that moment I truly felt like a Rock Star! I don't know if what we put together that evening even sounded like what others would describe as music, but it didn't matter. All that mattered is that as a musician, I mastered that moment. I received a glimpse of what it meant to be a rock star.
To this day, I still haven't progressed much in creating music. The closest I get is Guitar Hero. But, at least I still have the ability to remember that moment in which my fantasy world became a reality, even if it was just a moment. I think there is something to this. I mean, even beyond being a rock star, I wonder if there is real life stuff in this. I cannot help but wonder if a lot of us want to be a rock star, and Jesus is the perfect musician. Jesus created and played this good news music better than anyone has ever played. For my whole life, I have appreciated his ability to carry this tune from a far. Much like Ryan, I have watched and admired. There is nothing sweeter then to see how Jesus played that beautiful song and how he still carries that tune. What Jesus accomplished as this Gospel Musician, is simply jaw dropping. Not to mention all the miracles, Jesus loved people. I mean He really loved people! He cared for the poor so beautifully. He was willing to stand up for the unprivileged to the point of death by the empire and the religious elite. This was a gospel the would run through his veins, and that embodied every action of Jesus. I love Jesus and what he accomplished as this "Gospel Musician". I must say though that I have loved Him from a far. I have admired from a distance.
I feel embarrassed, because sometimes I don't feel I am up for the job. I do not want to take the music that Jesus has created and turn it into a sour tune. I want to be able to play this music with Jesus knowing that I can at least keep up. There are those that have played with Jesus that even in their imperfection, they have held up admirably. I have to remind myself of something. The song that Jesus created was never meant to be admired from afar. Much like Todd who invited me to be a rock star, Jesus invites me into a participant in the song He created. Will there be times where I am going to fail to stay in tune? I would have to think that there will be many times. But I can't help but imagine that Jesus is next to me with His guitar and he is instructing me on the chords and rhythms. Most importantly, he is asking me to poUr my efforts into this beautiful and graceful song. May God give me the strength to pick up my instrument and become a rock star and live in the fullnes of Jesus' good news.
-dj
In college I had a room mate that I would consider to be a musical genius. His name is Ryan Brown. He had the ear and the gift to put together a string of chords, and as he put words to this, something special happened. He truly has a gift of musicianship like no other that I have met. Ryan also had the gift of singing, so the total package is impressive! I was inspired by Ryan and his gift. I was so inspired, that I decided to run after my fantasy occupation and I purchase a $400 Ibanez artcore guitar. She was a beauty! I decided that I wanted to learn how to master my new toy so I can chase my Rock star dream. I would watch Ryan and I tried to pick up pointers. On occasion, he would verbally explain things to me, but more times then not, I would just watch. Many times I would even ask questions and Ryan almost found it hard to teach me. I think it was because he was so good at this, he just did it, and he didn't know how to explain it to a peon like me. After some time, I would no longer fell that the best way to learn from his gift was by asking questions, so I continued just to watch. I would get brave enough sometimes and I would pick my guitar up and play in random sequences the four chords that I had learned. I found myself embarrassed to play my chords in front of Ryan. Honestly, I would avoid even picking up my guitar in his presence. I am not for sure why I was embarrassed. But I kind of guessed that it was that he was so good, and I was certainly not. Looking back I can say that after time, my inability to play well enough to not feel embarrassed in front of Ryan, put a damper in my dream of becoming a rock star. And actually I still have the guitar, and I still know those 4 chords, I can truthfully say that I have no progressed much since my collage days. But this does not sum up my rock star dream experiences! I believe there is more to tell...
In college, I took a road trip. Ryan's girlfriend at the time (Cara) wanted to go see her brother at Virginia Beach during spring break. I was and still am really good friends with Cara and I had never been to Virginia beach so I was defiantly up for a road trip. Putting our faith into my '94 dodge spirit to actually make it to Virgina Beach, which it did, we drove to her brother's (Todd) house. This was the first time I had ever met Todd. Cara kept telling me that he was cool and that I would like him. I did like him. He has a 'cool" spirit about him. He is an artist of many trades. He was really fun to be around with that week. He is a musician as well, and he wrote his own songs. I will never forget what happened.
You see, even though I am great friends with Ryan, I was never given the opportunity to play with Ryan, probably due to the fact I absolutely had no confidence in my playing ability. But my experience with Todd had a different tune. He got out he guitar and just started playing. He then gave me another guitar, and told me to strum a chord in a specific pattern, then repeat that pattern to 3 more chords. I remember being nervous. Sure I knew how to play the chords, but I also knew that I had always struggled with any sort of rhythm. I also had never have played with any one else. I begin to do what he told me, before long my rhythm was decent enough that he began to sing a song with my guitar strumming laying the back drop for his vocals. This was AWESOME! I had never felt so alive musically. In that moment I was living to the full. I was so proud of that moment. At that moment I truly felt like a Rock Star! I don't know if what we put together that evening even sounded like what others would describe as music, but it didn't matter. All that mattered is that as a musician, I mastered that moment. I received a glimpse of what it meant to be a rock star.
To this day, I still haven't progressed much in creating music. The closest I get is Guitar Hero. But, at least I still have the ability to remember that moment in which my fantasy world became a reality, even if it was just a moment. I think there is something to this. I mean, even beyond being a rock star, I wonder if there is real life stuff in this. I cannot help but wonder if a lot of us want to be a rock star, and Jesus is the perfect musician. Jesus created and played this good news music better than anyone has ever played. For my whole life, I have appreciated his ability to carry this tune from a far. Much like Ryan, I have watched and admired. There is nothing sweeter then to see how Jesus played that beautiful song and how he still carries that tune. What Jesus accomplished as this Gospel Musician, is simply jaw dropping. Not to mention all the miracles, Jesus loved people. I mean He really loved people! He cared for the poor so beautifully. He was willing to stand up for the unprivileged to the point of death by the empire and the religious elite. This was a gospel the would run through his veins, and that embodied every action of Jesus. I love Jesus and what he accomplished as this "Gospel Musician". I must say though that I have loved Him from a far. I have admired from a distance.
I feel embarrassed, because sometimes I don't feel I am up for the job. I do not want to take the music that Jesus has created and turn it into a sour tune. I want to be able to play this music with Jesus knowing that I can at least keep up. There are those that have played with Jesus that even in their imperfection, they have held up admirably. I have to remind myself of something. The song that Jesus created was never meant to be admired from afar. Much like Todd who invited me to be a rock star, Jesus invites me into a participant in the song He created. Will there be times where I am going to fail to stay in tune? I would have to think that there will be many times. But I can't help but imagine that Jesus is next to me with His guitar and he is instructing me on the chords and rhythms. Most importantly, he is asking me to poUr my efforts into this beautiful and graceful song. May God give me the strength to pick up my instrument and become a rock star and live in the fullnes of Jesus' good news.
-dj
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